Let me tell you, Chicago brides and grooms: when I first began planning my wedding, I assumed I got the gist of the decisions I’d need to make throughout the process. Find a venue. Pick a date. Find a photographer, a florist, the DJ/band, a dress and so on and so forth. While all of those decisions certainly had to be made, there were all kinds of little and not so little incidentals I didn’t anticipate needing to be decisive about.
One of the biggest questions needed answering was the matter of the First Look…and I didn’t know where to start. My husband and I ultimately decided to wait to see each other until the ceremony and I have mixed emotions about this.
In order to help you make an educated choice, I’ve created this handy list of six reasons to consider having a first look!
First up: WHAT IS THE FIRST LOOK?
The First Look is a special moment carved out of your action-packed wedding day to see your betrothed prior to walking down the aisle. It’s the time when you can forget all about the running around, the planning, the stressing and all of the other crazy and wonderful things that we experience in the run up to our wedding day, look into your almost-spouse’s eyes and let that “Oh holy cow, we’re getting married like……today!” feeling wash over you and truly soak in the excitement and magnitude of taking this big leap together. It’s a really powerful, intimate, often hilarious and always super sweet moment that a couple can enjoy together that’s all their own.
You have a moment alone together
One thing no one can truly prepare you for is how absolutely crazy your wedding day can be! You may be tired and jittery from being too excited to sleep the night before or too nervous to eat the morning of. You’re being pulled in 1,000 directions, can never seem to find your phone and are worried about your curls falling out before anyone gets a chance to see them (okay, this last one may have been just me. And they did in case you’re wondering!).
Your first look gives you the opportunity to actually spend some time alone with your fiancé before walking down that aisle. Instead of being in front of dozens and dozens of prying eyes as you see each other for the first time on your wedding day, the first look gives you the chance to hold each other, remind yourselves how much you love one another and take a deep breath together. It’s grounding and powerful and absolutely amazing.
2. it makes scheduling your portrait time so. much. easier.
At some point during the planning of your wedding day, you’ll be faced with the realization that you have to try to balance portrait time with - ya know - your entire wedding reception! Having a first look earlier in the day can be a hugely beneficial to the actual experience of your day. If you get all of the couples and bridal party portraits out of the way before the ceremony, your hair and make-up will be perfect, you’ll have a chance to laugh and have an absolute blast with all of your best friends and you’ll have the peace of mind knowing that the rest of the day is aaaaaaaaallll about you and your fiancé actually enjoying attending your wedding day. Which leads me to my next point…
3. You actually get to enjoy cocktail hour
What?! Enjoy cocktail hour, you say?! One of the biggest worries couples who don’t have a first look face is the fact that they have to hold their portrait time after the ceremony and before the reception begins which means sacrificing enjoying a much deserved drink and badly needed finger food with people who are absolutely dying to congratulate you and get this party started.
In order to avoid missing cocktail hour, Mark and I opted to have a two and a half hour break between our Catholic Mass ceremony and cocktail hour. This meant we had plenty of time to travel to our venue, touch up our lipstick (for those of us wearing lipstick) and get in plenty of portraits, but it did mean we had to do something we swore we’d never do at the beginning of wedding planning; we made our guests kill time. A lot of time. While we didn’t see any way around this, I now know that a first look would have absolutely eradicated this issue. We could have gotten all our portraits in before the ceremony which would have definitely improved the guest’s experience as well as our own!
4. You get that reaction shot you are hoping for
The number one most requested photo brides mention as needing is their fiancé’s reaction shot when they see them for the very first time. I know I definitely mentioned it to my own photographer as one of my “must haves”! It’s actually the number one reason many couples opt to forgo a first look in the first place!
But here’s a little reality check for you: much of the time, the reaction shot during the first look is more powerful, more poignant, more full of raw emotion than that of the reaction shot as you walk down the aisle. And here’s why:
Imagine being in whoever is waiting at the end of the aisle’s shoes! You’re anxiously awaiting the arrival of your fiance - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll eyes on you! You’re a well of nerves, anxiety, excitement and you’re definitely feeling the pressure - that expectation to “perform”. I don’t know about you, but all of those people staring at me would take me out of the realness - the rawness of that moment.
Now with a first look, on the other hand, the pressure is off. Your photographer/videographer - if they know what they’re doing - are remaining unobtrusively out of the way to capture the power of that moment you see your love for the first time on your wedding day. You’re alone. You’re a little nervous but mostly just excited to hug your almost-spouse, to tell them how beautiful they are, how much you love them.
The reaction shot is almost always more powerful during a first look and if that’s something that’s important to you, it’s a huge reason to consider having one.
5. You can relax and enjoy walking down the aisle
As mentioned, wedding days can be bananas and nerves are at an all time high! But once you see your love for the first time, a lot of those crazy jitters go away. This is so helpful before the ceremony as it allows you to take a few deep breaths and actually be fully present during your ceremony. Why? Because you already had a chance to release those butterflies. The result? A more enjoyable, tangible and - importantly - memorable ceremony for you both.
6. Gorgeous photo opportunity
Okay, okay. As a photographer, I couldn’t leave this one out. As we’ve learned in point two, having a first look means that you have control over the scheduling and experience of your wedding day. Instead of cramming in all of your portraits (family formals, bridal party AND romantic couples portraits) into a 60 minute window, you can schedule your first look a couple of hours ahead of the ceremony which means you not only feel unrushed and excited but you look absolutely perfect. Your hair and make-up are fresh and you’re ready to have an absolute blast hanging out with your besties. It’s a win-win in my book!
it’s entirely up to you!!
At the end of the day, the only right answer is the one that’s right for you, your fiancé and your wedding day. Tradition was too important for my own husband who insisted on waiting to see me as I walked down the aisle and despite the practical drawbacks (scheduling issues, not being able to spend as much time together, feeling super nervous, etc.). Despite the drawbacks, I ultimately wouldn’t change this because I know how important it was to him.
So cuddle up with your love and make a little pros and cons list - the answer will become clear after some careful consideration! In the meantime I hope this little blog post helped make this decision as easy as possible :-).
Remember- whatever you decide, it will still be the best day ever <3.
